DECLARATION OF JOYFUL INDEPENDENCE

 

I've been through so many changes in this past year, I need the first hour every morning to sort out who I am. I've been in the habit of arising early each day to have time to sort myself and pray for a lot of years now, but this past year has been especially remarkable. I am not who I was. I have become who I had hoped to be.

I am not afraid of you. While I hope always to get along well with others, if we don't get along, I don't feel a loss. None.

I used to hear people say, “The loss is theirs” and always thought that was simply a sweet phrase used to console me when I had a loss, but now I feel it! I have gone beyond loving myself now. I like myself. If you don't like me, we can agree to disagree. We all have our own tastes and our own boundaries. Liking is simply a matter of preference. I don't like sardines, anchovies, hard-boiled eggs, and some other stuff. I don't expect others to join me in my dislikes. I don't, though, expect to force myself to eat such things.

I'm always surprised when someone criticizes me without me asking for criticism. I am still stunned when anyone speaks to me in a condescending tone or tells me how I ought to spend my time or use my gifts. I recognize the difference between a request and an order. It's in my nature to strive to fill loving requests. For the most part, though, I am busy using my gifts as I want. They are my toys and I am enjoying my retirement a lot. I play all day long.

I appreciate suggestions when they are offered as optional ideas that someone has. Healthy feedback is fun. It can be inspiring.

For the most part, though, I am busy with my own creative thoughts. I get many ideas and let them float around as if in the air above my head, plucking one from time to time to bring into physical reality. That's what a creative is. We create. I'm not a craftsman. I haven't refined my art. Refinement is for others. It's not my gift.

I'm a free spirit, following no one's rules but my own. I'm happier alone than with any controlling person. I like my own company.

Social distancing has been a major blessing for me. I have all the space I have needed without having to apologize to anyone for not socializing enough! I am better able to appreciate the company of others when we do share.

I've had many times in the past when I have lived apart from large numbers of people, but in those times I was in a caretaker's position. The only one I need to take care of now is me. I can now appreciate what I offered to others in the past.

I'm fun! The person who enjoys me the most in this life is me.