COMING OF AGE

 

Being old is odd. It feels as if it happened overnight. Because my Spirit is young, and will hopefully remain young, I am not usually able to speak of having grown old to anyone. "You are only as old as you feel" etc. comes back to me. I guess no one wants to listen, nor do they want to believe.

I'm old. I wake up in this foreign body each morning. It's odd to feel trapped inside. I adjust to it quickly, probably the way a disabled vet or an amputee does. My physical limitations aren't about to keep me from continuing to have a full life. My life will be full of different activities, perhaps, than in the past.

My pace has slowed a lot, but I find I am right more often than I am wrong now. I do like that! I suppose I made enough mistakes that I learned about a lot of things and, not wanting to go through that pain again, I have a semblance of wisdom. It strikes me funny.

I am often told that I don't look my age. I don't know what others think someone my age is supposed to look like. I see my age when I look in a mirror. I remember what I used to look like. I am grateful that at least when my face fell, it fell into a pleasant shape. I look friendly. I look very approachable. I look harmless.

Yup. I am old.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

     I was married more than once and changed my last name more than once. I've been alone now for over 27 years.  My legal first name is Betty Ann. Although it's a pretty name, it's always been bothersome, first because people and agencies do not want to accept a double first name and secondly because if was so often said with a derogatory tone when I was young.

    I moved from Massachusetts to New Jersey in 2000 and gave myself a new life.  Although I did not hide my legal name from anyone who needed it, I decided I had always wanted to be a Beth, so I became a Beth from day one.

    Shortly after moving to New Jersey, I began posting things online. I am a prolific poet among other things. Having made a clean break with my past, I didn't want to carry over any name that I didn't feel strongly attached to. I also have always loved the feeling of anonymity.  I became Beth NoLastName. For the record, since I have nothing at all to hide from anyone, I am legally Betty Ann Plankey. I am known as Beth Plankey on social media.  I am Beth NoLastName to hundreds of people who know my story and have read things I write. There was also a time when I lived in Massachusetts that I was known as Lucky Plankey. I was a Realtor for a time and still have one of my business cards with that name right smack in the middle of it. I always smile when I look at that card. (It's magnetized and is attached to a metal door leading out of my apartment.) 

    I've been through many major changes in the last twenty years and would love to change my name again to reflect those changes. Instead, I will begin a new blog and assign it a name. I have chosen Tres Chic.  It sounds good! It rolls of the tongue. It creates the expectation of something wonderful. According to WordSense.eu dictionary:

That's the ticket!

    That's the perfect name for anything I want to express. A way up and out of negativity. An opportunity to chuckle in the midst of a busy day. A sense of a bright light on the path ahead.

Tres Chic! That's the ticket!